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“I define connection as the energy that exists between people when they feel seen, heard, and valued

I wrote this blog a few years back without publishing it. It still holds true to this day. My kids room has gone through several changes since and the client I mention came back again to freshen up a few of the spaces I had done over 15 years ago.

Life is all about trying to find real connections with others. When I work with people on their spaces, I have to connect with them. They have to be open and honest with me in order for me to help them the best way I know how, but they also need to feel that I am hearing them and not judging them, no matter how intimate the details have to be. Being heard/valued and making connections has come up a lot for me in the last two months.

The first instance was with my kids. My daughter hadn't been wanting to sleep in the top bunk, but wouldn't give a reason. After sitting down with her, listening and asking questions, she finally shared that she didn't feel safe up there. Because my son didn't want to sleep up there either, his reason being that he bumped his head on the ceiling, the only option was to take the bunk beds down. I drew up plans for what I was thinking for the layout and they had their input. My daughter had to clear out a lot of piled up stuff to make room for the new layout (she was a champ!). My son had to muscle it out with me to take the beds apart and move the large furniture. Since the change, with a few extra design touches from mom, they have both come to me to tell me how much they love their "new" space.

The second instance was getting an email from a client that I had worked with 7 years ago. They had tracked me down through the internet to see if I could help them with their current project. Part of it involved a small space in NY that they had originally used a local designer to design. The wife didn't feel heard and the family didn't feel the connection. The wife wanted to work with me because in their original project I had listened to their very different tastes and despite the disparities ended up with a design that they both still love to this day.

Interior design is so much more than just making a space beautiful or even functional. When done well, the clients feel that their needs have been heard. A great space also allows the client to make connections with the friends and family they have over. For help with your space, or if you just have a question, you can contact me through my website or by emailing me directly at

Remember to always look for the silver lining.

Avril Martin

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